*sigh*

Ok, so after November elections we had all these democrats saying how they weep for the future of our nation because Bush got reelected. To stay brief on this let me say I voted for Bush and I don't think our country's going down the shitter anymore than it did when Clinton recieved fellatio in the Oval Office.

What I do weep for is the future of our nation because people are ready to be offended by anything. 2004 was the year to be offened because of television. It all started because millions of people saw a nipple on the Super Bowl. It's something that everyone and I mean everyone has regardless of age, sex, sexual preference, or whatever. (Unless you had a nipplectomy, which I don't know why you would need one medically, though given the attitude post Super Bowl XXXVIII I'm not surprised some fundamentalist groups made them mandatory). However the violence you can see on broadcast TV, the self whoring of reality television, that you could go your entire life and be a better person for not seeing is alright according to the FCC.

Why, you ask, am I writing about this over a year later? Well I came across this today from IMDb.com.

Despite complaints that Sunday's Super Bowl halftime show was bland and forgettable, the FCC received 33 complaints Monday from viewers who either objected to Paul McCartney's rendition of "Get Back," which contains a reference to "California grass," or were upset by the content of some commercials. Those who complained about the ads deprecated one for GoDaddy.com, featuring a young woman who almost bares a breast; ads for erectile dysfunction medication; and a scene in a spot featuring one member of the Queer Eye For the Straight Guy crew ogling a man.

Now this seems just gratuitous. Just plain damn redicilous. I weep for our nation because this is the kind of shit that pisses people off these days.

Letter to Mr. Williams

Dear Mr. John Williams:

I am writing this letter under the speculation that takes place in my mind after a long day filled with decongestants. As with many other fans of your work I am eagerly awaiting your work that will be released this coming May with the final chapter of the Star Wars Trilogy. As my friends and I have discussed you need to include the following things:

1) We know Vader is coming so first of all, let's tone down on his theme, keep it subtle, (think the end titles to Episode I). But when Anakin ceases to be, and rises anew as Vader with or without the armor give me that Dum Dum Dum Dum Dah Dum Dum Dah Dum as loud and bombastically as you possibly can (think the Emperor's arrival at the begging of the second act of Jedi).

2)Let's tone down on recycling the music from the previous installments. We all know you did it in Episode II. That was a great action scene that could have had awesome music, but instead you put in those running mallets from Episode I again.

3)And this one is most important of all. When it comes to that moment that every Star Wars fan has been waiting for, the one that has been speculated since 1977 (need I really say more as to which moment we're talking about?). I want you to give it all you got. I want you to come out of that scoring session feeling like Obi-Wan does on the screen. I want everything you've put into these scores and put it together in the best way you can. Don't leave out the Duel of the Fates, don't leave out the Force Theme, and please please please don't leave out the Emperor's Theme.

I wish to leave you with one final note. You've been doing these movies for almost 30 years now. You made this movie for me. My Original Trilogy CD have been listened too so much that they're starting to wear thin (no joking here folks, they actually are the thinnest CDs in my collection). It seems you've always had a Star Wars movie to look forward to so don't let this one slip by. This is is man, the big one, the final one. Make it count.

Sincerely,

-Ken Carden

Serious?! I Sure Hope So!

So for those unaware as of Thursday January 27, 2005 I have been dating Lisa for four years. We went to eat at our local Johnny Carino's (btw thank you to the Johnny Carino's folks for sending me the coupon for half off an entree the day after our lovely dinner, but it ends up being a moot point, I digress...). We sat there ordered our food, ate bread with olive oil, garlic and black pepper. When her lasagna arrived Lisa took one bite and said, "It has sausage in it..." She does not like sausage, or any kind of processed meat for that matter. So I summoned our waiter and told them about the sausage and her not mixing so he takes it away and brings her a menu, turns out there was no sausage, it was the seasoning in that meat sauce that was also used in most Italian sausages. She orders something else and asks specifically for the marinara sauce instead of meat sauce and is brought the dish with meat sauce. She manages to eat the pasta (ravioli) without eating much of the sauce. The whole time I'm sitting there thinking how she's gonna remember things like this...

So they take away our plates, and we order canolli, neither of us had ever tried it and decided to do so that night. After the waiter leaves I stick my shoe out of the booth that we were sitting in and say, "Look, my shoe's untied." So I step out of the booth and kneel down to tie my shoe. While I'm kneeling down on one knee I say to Lisa, "By the way, I wanted to ask you something, " and I reach inside my jacket pocket and pull out a ring box and open it to show her the diamond ring inside of it. At that point she immediatly loses it and just starts bawling, and sobbing.

See I had known since the Christmas Holidays that this was going to happen, because that's when I got the ring. (My mom gave me the diamond that my dad gave her, after they got divorced, she had it put on a pendant and decided to give it to me for just this purpose.) She on the other hand had no idea, I had been saying long before the break that I wasn't sure about marriage at this point and was just wanting to graduate and get a job before we did anything serioius. Upon returning from the Christmas break I kinda played this stuff up a bit, saying how I couldn't afford a diamond ring and all that jazz, just wanting to furthur surprise her for the moment in which we last left off.

So after she just starts bawling, the entire staff of Johnny Carino's starts to notice something, and amidst the sobbing she looks at me and says, "Are you serious?" My usual smart ass response to such a question had evaded me at the moment, and I said simply, "Yes." Then as she is putting the ring on she says, "I never said yes," I reply, "Well I never got to ask..." since she had started bawling as soon as she set eyes upon her brand new "shiny thing" as she so puts it. So I ask her, "Will you marry me?" and then she said yes and our canolli came, I was only able to eat about two bites and she was hardly able to eat one, mainly because it was so rich and secondly because her stomach was doing acrobatic stunts at the moment.

While we sit there with our partially eaten canolli we have every member of the wait staff passing by congratulating us. Our waiter returns and questions why we've hardly touched the canolli. We explain and he offers to bring us another dessert if we wish, but Lisa having already felt guilty about the lasagna does not want to inconvience this man further, so we end up taking it home. Upon his return with our boxed up canolli he informs us that our dinner it on the house. At that point I have a reaction similar (minus the sobbing and tears) to the one Lisa had when I whipped out the ring just a few minutes earlier. We thank him, I leave him a tip and we head on home. We've been phoning friends and relatives informing them of the news ever since...

Working Man

Isn't that a Skynard song? No no, that's Simple Man, my bad...and they're from my home town...

I'm sitting here wondering how tough work will be tonight. I work at the local Off the Grill, for those unfamiliar with that franchise (and unless you live in the states of Alabama or Tennessee, you probably aren't), it's like a Steak-Out, we do the big steak meals, burgers (but no fries, please don't ask). Delivery, Take-Out, Dine-In, I don't drive, they are the only sane ones in the store because they don't actually have to stay in the store. No, I'm not that lucky, I cut the steaks first of all, not the burgers or the beef tips (our biggest seller), that's someone else's job. No, I just cut the steaks, like Ribeyes, New York Strips, Filet Mignon (and that's pronounced min-yon for those who can't say that, please, just ask for a filet). Then in order to get enough money to survive I also answer phones and take the orders. Which leads me to the featured portion of todays post...

Top 3 Most Annoying Customer Types

Now I'm doing this as a way to help the public, I realized after I took this job that I used to do some of these things, then I very quickly stopped. I'm not trying to call people idiots...well for some of them I am...but I'm doing this to help you, so you can help me.

1) I'm sorry we don't have fries
I work at a place called Off the Grill, which means that everything there is grilled, no we don't have fried chicken, no we don't have fries. I realize that some people find it offensive to have burgers and not have fries. I'm sorry we just don't have fries. One of the best responses a co-worker ever gave to a guy who asked why we didn't have fries was telling the guy that they tended to fall through the grill.

2) My food cost how much?!
I'm not saying I like the idea of such things, but I gotta follow the bosses rules. You walk into any restaurant where a full meal costs more than $5, and ask to substitute the provided side item for another then you will be charged extra. Applebee's, Chili's, Outback, and yes, Off the Grill all do it. The reason behind this is that certain materials cost more than others, as simple as that. Your meal comes with a potato and a salad and you want grilled mushrooms or oinions instead or the spud or salad? No problem, no charge. Your meal comes with just chips and you want a potato or a salad instead? Sorry man, that's gonna cost you, see you can get a bag of chips for $.59, but spud and salad cost extra. I had a fellow tell me once that substitue means free. I looked at him and said, "No sir, it doesn't." Then explained to him about Applebee's, and Chili's, etc.

3) What What do do you you want want?
It never fails me, every single night that I answer a phone, I could go in just long enough to answer just one phone and it will happen. Being in a college town doesn't help either. Some times it starts out at the very beginning of our conversation. The first thing I will ask for is the phone number because that's how you access names and addresses in our computers. The moment I ask for the phone number I will hear my words echoed out (hopefully) away from the phone mic,

Me:"Can I have your phone number?"
Customer:"Hey dude, what's your phone number?"
(phone number given and name given)
Me:"Alright what is your address?"
Customer: "Dude, what's your address?"

By this point I'm beating my head on the counter top because I know when I ask him how he wants his burger cooked the echoing is going to continue, the potato, the salad dressing, it's all going to be echoed out away from the phone mic, if I'm lucky. If I'm not lucky, and it's happened before. Joe Schmo on the other end will not even bother with moving his mouth away from the mic before shouting across the apartment to the owner asking for the needed information, which leave me deaf in one ear temporarily.

So there we have it, those are the three worst offenders that I've run across. There are others, but mainly of humor and concern only if you live in the Auburn area (Tiger Card anyone? No! we don't take it! I know it says we do on the website, but we don't!).

But please, if you call your local delvery place, be it pizza, wings, or steak, be aware of such things, it will make your order shorter and the order takers night just a little easier.

Paranoia

So I've been reading Stephen King a lot of late. It's kind of weird for me, I grew up with my mom who read all his classics, It, The Shining, The Stand, Salem's Lot, Tommyknockers. My only exposure to them was what I observed on the covers and whenever they happened to be adapted into a movie by ABC, but then about a year and a half ago I decided it was time to take that step. I picked up my first Stephen King book, The Dark Tower I: The Gunslinger. Anyone out there familiar with King's work would be aware of the Dark Tower. I read the first one and was in love. I consumed as much of them as I could, and it was right before the last three were to be published, augh, I get ahead of myself. This post isn't about the Dark Tower, (I'll save that for another time) it's about the King book I'm reading now.

The Stand is a great book, but the beginning part of the book can lead one to be quite paranoid around such subtle and common things. The first part of the book (for those of unfamiliar) deals with a superflu as it slowly spreads across the country. This superflu starts out looking like regular flu, or a cold with its symptoms (coughs, sneezes, etc.), except this flu kills you. So for the past week I've been walking around in all the crummy weather we've been having, and I hear someone sneeze or cough and I get nervous, want to cover my mouth and run away. So far the urge has been light enough to subdue it before I cause a scene somewhere, but a part of me keeps saying it's only a matter of time...

Class Time Again

Well the time has come again for classes to start. Thankfully for me this is the last time I have to go through the academic mess of signing up for classes and everything. In other words this is my last academic semester, but I won't graduate in May because one of the conditions for me to graduate in my department of Mass Communications (or Radio, Television, and Film... Mass Comm. just sounds a bit more professional if you ask me) is that I have completed an internship. So that is how I will spend my summer and then I will graduate in August (Hurrah!)

This semster is almost a near repeat of last semester for me because I have two classes yet again with the same teacher. I will spend 12 of my last 27 semester hours at Auburn University with her. So we learn to get along, which is more than she can say for most students. It's not that she doesn't try, it's just that she gets lost as to how to relate the material. She realizes that teaching is more than just reading class content straight off to the students. (Which is more than most people in our Science and Math department can say). So she trys to change things up, but it just doesn't quite work for her.
It leads to a vicious cycle because her inability to do that leads to hostility from students which leads to hostility from her and it just begins all over again.

Anywho, I'd best stop before it gets out of hand. I'm gonna try to start posting more regularly from now on. I started this back in the beginning of last summer and then just left it alone. So in other words, I will be back...

Summer Movies Hurrah!

Well it's that time of year again where the best, brightest and most expensive movies begin their march across our nations theaters. I have to say the summer movie season is one of my favorite times of the year.

There's just one thing to keep in mind before you go to any movie this summer:

In my mind there are two types of movies. There are movies that are good, ones that when you see them your view of the world is altered and you will remember that movie until the day you die. They tend to come out between the months of September and December. They sometimes end up nominated for Oscars, yet more often than not get overlooked. These movies aren't necessarily high achievers in the box office because to most of the movie going public they are above their heads. Movies like this include: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, American Beauty, Requiem for A Dream, and Pulp Fiction (this last one most definetely being the exception to that last rule).

Then there are the fun movies, mostly action movies. These movies are often extremely successful in the box office, and are mostly released during the summer, though a few come out during the November Decmber area for the holidays. One should not go into this type of movie expecting their mental facilites to be extremely challenged. Do not expect well developed characters and engaging dialogue. Go into this movie expecting a great adrenaline rush, expect spectacular special effects, and expect some of the best action scenes you'll see. Movies like this inclue: The Matrix Trilogy, Spider-Man, X-Men, The Star Wars Triolgy, and The Mummy.

Though movies can fall into categories outside of these two realms, mostly comedies, they can still be put into one of the other two categories.

Anywho, the entire point of that information is to say that the first big movie of the summer has come out and I absolutely loved it. It was Van Helsing. In general I'll say this. I think it's one of the best summer movies since Spider-Man, while I immensely enjoyed X2, it just didn't get me as excited. As far as what so many people are saying the campiness and the over the top melo-drama that bugged them, just remember that this movie is from Stephen Sommers the guy who wrote and directed such Horror/Action movies like Deep Rising, and The Mummy, and it's exactly what I expected from the man. Kate Beckinsale was definetely the weak point of the movie, she's one of the worst actresses in a long time (and coming from a guy who loves just about every movie ever made, that's saying a lot). I severely enjoyed David Wenham as Carl and was not expecting much from him in the comic relief sense, but I was gladly proven wrong (keep this in mind, according to IMDb.com his role was originally going to Paul "Crodile Dundee" Hogan, just imagine if that had gone through *shudder*). Richard Roxburgh, well let me just say that I was pleased that he was cast as Dracula from the moment I heard it. I mainly know him as The Duke from Moulin Rogue, and he just had that certain something to carry that evil into Dracula.

But that's about all I got to say for that movie, I'm actually gonna try to go and see it again during the summer.